There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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