nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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