You just made me feel so damn special
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
