I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize