no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
