I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
