i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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