She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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