How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize