Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
