We're like a lot better than the average bears
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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