I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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