I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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