She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
