I can't breathe out the right side of my face
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
