Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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