if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
