TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
