He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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