You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
