Betty ford says i'm here all night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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