The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize