after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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