This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Come share oat with me in your robe
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
