Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
