butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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