I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
