I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
