Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
