her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
