Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
