apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
