If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
