I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
