Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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