some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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