2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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