so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
