Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
