i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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