we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
