yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
ttyl tear gas
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
