Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
In America we eat man semen.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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