a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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