is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize