At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
