i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
