should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize