just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
