yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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