wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
