I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
