I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
