thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
