True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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