Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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