is your mom at the bar?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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