Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
