isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
