the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My penis needs a shock collar
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize