Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
