well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
