she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize