Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
