He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
