I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
