I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize