Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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