We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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