im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can text with my tongue
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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