Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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