Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
