i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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