i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize