I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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