it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
