I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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